Daddy?

Reed's been having a difficult time understanding Neil's travel schedule. And I seem to be unsuccessful explaining it to him. He's only 2 and doesn't really understand why his Daddy is gone so much. It breaks my heart when he calls for him in the morning or sees to UPS man and thinks it's his dad (this is the only guy he does that for...I guess he does have Neil's frame). But I'm at a loss at a good way to explain it in a way that Reed will understand. We've tried FaceTime and Skype when Neil's on the road. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't. In fact, I'd say the majority of the time it just makes it more difficult on Reed because he doesn't understand why his Daddy is on the tv and not here. But then other times we chat and he's fine, ending the conversation with kisses for his Daddy (makes my heart smile).

I miss Neil, too. It's just not the same when he's gone. I'm praying that the Lord will help me to be not be terrified of handling a 2 year old, newborn and two dogs in a mere 5 months. Neil has assured me that his travel schedule will be back to our "normal" by then...but I have to admit I'm still afraid that I'll be completely overwhelmed. I'm thankful to have my family close but don't want to burn them out either. God knows the situation and I take comfort in that.

Reed's growing up fast! You can see his little mind working things out and learning more about how the world works. It's so amazing to witness. He's turning into quite the little boy (definitely not a baby and barely a toddler anymore!).

Trying to prepare myself for Reed's adenoidectomy and tonsillectomy a week from Thursday. I've been prepped to expect the worse but am praying that he does well and it's not as horrible as they say it could be. Already praying and trying to fatten the boy up this next week! His appetite just isn't that great...I think the "thick" throat makes it hard for him to eat. Poor thing...he really needs the surgery and I'm thankful we'll be able to have it done before the Spring/Summer.

Praising God for all His amazing blessings!

Yah Man...It's a BOY!

Neil and I were in Jamaica last Thursday through Sunday. We went to participate in his brother's wedding and to officially welcome his wife to the family. It was a beautiful ceremony and we were surprised by how many friends and family were able to make the trip. The weather was rainy in the mornings and late evenings, but the afternoons were sunny and in the 80s. Neil and I were hoping to be able to go kayaking and water biking...but the weather didn't permit for either. We did get to go sailing which we both enjoyed. We exercised together every morning which was really nice. We used to exercise together all the time pre-kids...but things have changed and we don't get to do it often. It was time together that I really enjoyed. We were in bed by 9:30 every night (I know, we're lame) so we could get up early to workout. Reed stayed here with Grandpa and Grandma. He had a nice time with them. We tried to Skype with him while we were gone but it only upset him. I don't think he understands why we're on the computer and not with him instead. When we Skype Neil while he's traveling it's often upsetting to Reed. We tend to only Skype if Neil is gone for a long time or if we can connect early in the morning (which is Reed's "happy" time). He's a morning person like his mommy and daddy (thank goodness!). My mom loved spending the time with Reed but she didn't enjoy Lucy Lu or Kona Butt very much. She said having the two dogs is worse than having two other children! She said she felt like she was with three kids all weekend (with the dogs making up the majority of the work). Indeed, my two hairy daughters are a lot of work. But I love them (a lot more when they're shaved...hahaha). I couldn't give them away. They were our first children.

Found out yesterday that Neil and I are having another boy! I wasn't expecting to find out for a few weeks but I had a specialist appointment in Peoria and they did a sonogram and told me! Reed will love having a little brother to play with once the little guy arrives. Neil has a name picked out that he loves. I think it's alright but the two people I've shared it with don't like it very much. I guess this is why people oftentimes don't share their name selection with people until after it's final! Lol. I think we'll keep the name to ourselves this time. Plus, I'm not sure we'll have a final decision on a name until we see the little guy in July. The baby looked healthy and I don't need to see the specialist again for 6 weeks. I also saw Dr. Weaver today and she said everything looks great! I'm so glad things seem to be progressing well. I've kept up my activity with this pregnancy (after being on restrictions for Reed), so I'm a bit more anxious about that...I'm not doing anything crazy but I am still running. It's not bad yet...but I'm sure I'll start to feel uncomfortable doing that in the new few weeks. I'll do it until I can't anymore and then move on to something else. I have to admit, I really appreciate being able to keep up my activity level. Sure, I'm exhausted by 1 pm but a 15 minute cat nap does the trick.

Found out today that Reed has to have his tonsils and adenoids out. I scheduled the surgery for early March. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about what his recovery will bring. I've already told Neil that he's not traveling during that week. I definitely don't want to be a single parent that week! The doctor has already prepared me for what he says is often a very difficult 7-10 days post-op. Praying that things go well and the surgery provides Reed with relief and that he begins to breathe through his nose. I don't want him to be a mouth-breather like his mommy! I had my tonsils out at 17 and it was horrible. They say the younger you are the smoother the recovery...praying that's the case for my precious Reed.

Neil's been traveling like crazy and I'm looking forward to March when he says his travel schedule will slow down. January and February have been pretty difficult. He was home 7 days in January and is home 6 days in February. His travel schedule makes me so thankful that we moved closer to family. His travel would be far more difficult for me if I were completely on my own. I worry about the effect Neil's travel has on Reed...I know it's really hard for Reed and that he misses his daddy. I also know it's really hard on Neil and that he misses his son. Praying that God provides clarity as to Neil's future with his current company or a different company. We cannot (nor do we want to) keep up this schedule indefinitely.

That's it for the past couple weeks. A lot has happened and we're thankful to God for His many blessings! Even the difficulties of life are blessings...

Nigh, Nigh Horsey

This morning Reed and I met Grandma and Grandpa for breakfast. Reed loves it when we meet Grandma and Grandpa! I need to mention here that Reed loves horses. He doesn't just like them...he's obsessed with them. So we're sitting at the breakfast table and he hands me a napkin and his horse and says, "help? nigh, nigh?". So I covered the horse with the napkin and Reed loved it. He thought it was so cool! He kept tapping the horse's nose saying, "nigh, nigh horsey"...it was absolutely adorable. He held his horse wrapped in that napkin for a good hour after breakfast. These are the types of memories I don't want to forget!

We met some friends at the mall for lunch and a short play date this afternoon. The play area at the mall was closed so we just let the kids run around, play in the arcade a little while and then play on the other kid "rides" for a while down by Kohl's. Reed played so well with the other boys - even though they were older (2 - 3 1/2 and a 3 year old). I was so proud of him! He's been in a such a good mood today...wish I could bottle days like today.

I love being a mom.

Prayer & Snow Pants

Prayer. Goodness, where to even begin. It's essential. I don't know how people get through their day without it. While I'm not one of those people that devotes a portion of my day to "quiet time" with God, I do talk to Him often throughout the day. My prayers are rarely formal, they're basically me talking to a very dear friend. Lately I've been convicted by the superficiality of my prayers. I've been talking to God but haven't really been nurturing my relationship with Him. I'm so quick to invest in worldly things - exercise, keeping the house, laundry, cooking, even watching television - but I haven't been investing in the most important thing which is my relationship with my Lord and Savior. A friend once shared that he felt the reason it was so difficult for us to invest in our relationship with Jesus was because satan doesn't want us to. Isn't that a different perspective? Of course satan doesn't want me to grow in my personal relationship with God. He wants me to become entrenched in the routine distractions of life and not focus my attention on serving the Lord.

I've been trying to pray more specifically lately and have been making an effort the past couple days to be more intentional in nurturing my relationship with Jesus. I'm also starting to meet with a couple friends to begin forming "accountability" relationships. My goal through these actions is to fan into flame a passion for cultivating my relationship with Jesus. I desire to be a wife, mother, daughter and friend that is pleasing to the Lord. I want to feel confident sharing my faith with others and speaking openly about my trust in the Lord. I want everyone to know that I'm a Christian!

This is where I'm at. I'm flawed...we're all flawed. And life is utterly hopeless. But God sent his Son to die on the cross so that we could have a relationship with Him...where there is hope, unconditional love, eternal life, and joy. This is definitely a relationship worth investing in.

On a lighter note, Reed's been waking up every day asking for his snow boots and snow pants. He's so stinking cute. Ever since we went sledding last week he's wanted to go outside and play. He'll come over and say, "Go ouside...no pants....boots". He's definitely looking forward to the next snow!

Routine

So, I'm a creature of habit. Is it wrong that I love having a routine? I sorely missed my regular schedule during the holiday season and am so glad to finally be back into my normal routine. Part of my normal routine is working out at FSII in the mornings at 8:15. During my first 12 weeks of pregnancy I was on progesterone and was unable to do any bouncy/jerky activities so running was definitely out. I did a lot of elliptical workouts, spin class, and walking on the treadmill. But I got the all clear from my OB to start running again and have been gradually working my way back into it. I ran a mile and a half this morning (with a couple breaks) and it felt great! Then I did the RIPPED class which totally kicked my booty!

Reed loves going to the gym as much as I do. He loves the train table there and enjoys playing with the different kids of all ages and races. I think it's great for him to have exposure to all different cultures and ages of kids...and it helps a lot that he enjoys his time there! I don't know what I'd do without that 60-90 minutes of activity every day!

This past weekend I started experiencing a bit of numbness in my arms and legs. I'm fairly certain this is probably normal but I have a call into the doctor to make sure. I see my fabulous chiropractor tonight...probably has something to do with the wonky way I've been sleeping (since I'm normally a stomach sleeper and haven't been able to do that).

Missing my hubby. He's in his very busy travel season and it's difficult when he's gone. I'm very thankful that he has a job he loves and experiences success with but I miss him terribly when he's gone. Look forward to spending a few days in Jamaica with him in early February for his brother's wedding. We met in Jamaica 11 years ago so it'll be a bit nostalgic to return for a visit (a wedding at that). Grandma and Grandpa are staying with Reed while we're gone because it would've cost over $600 for him to go with us! Wowza! We don't have that kind of disposable income! It was expensive enough for just Neil and I to go...and since we pay cash for everything, it makes it even more difficult to front an extra $600 for a trip that he wouldn't even remember. Anyway...I know we'll have fun and I'm looking forward to getting some sun!

One last thing, God has been reminding me lately that my attitude needs to reflect my heart. Sometimes I just have a crappy attitude. I have no excuse. I have a happy heart but no one will know that if I'm a royal pain in the butt. Praying for diligence in monitoring my attitude and catching myself before I head down the wrong attitude path. My circumstances shouldn't affect the joy that I have in the Lord...

Capturing Memories

I'm not sure why it's so difficult for me to routinely blog. I have such good intentions and it never seems to become a habit. I'm going to start blogging immediately when Reed goes down for his nap. It should be a relatively easy thing to fit in...it really only takes 15 minutes or so per blog entry, so I have absolutely NO excuses.

Reed turned two on November 12th. We had a nice party with family and friends. It was a cookie monster theme and I think Reed really enjoyed it. A couple days before his birthday Neil and I learned that we were expecting a second child. This news was nothing less than miraculous. I began seeing a fertility specialist in August because we'd unsuccessfully tried for a second child since Reed was 4 months old. Since it took us 5 years to get pregnant with Reed, we prayed about it and felt led to see the specialist. Our thought process was that we needed to know whether or not I could bear another child. If I couldn't, we were ready to hear that news...I was prepared for that...and we would begin traveling the road toward adoption. After what seemed like endless tests sent all over the country for analysis we decided to pursue the path of fertility drugs and IUI beginning late November. That's right, LATE November. Obviously, God had everything under control - yet again. I had the injection in the refrigerator and the prescriptions picked up and paid for...and we found out we were expecting. We are beyond thrilled and in complete amazement and awe at God's faithfulness and love for His children. Baby Blessing #2 is due to arrive mid-to-late July.

Neil's been traveling a lot lately and I've found myself in a state of stagnancy. When I was in the corporate world I was good at challenging myself and experienced continuous personal/professional growth. Since I've become a mom I feel that this part of my life (a part that I loved) has, well, basically become non-existant. I've tried, unsuccessfully, to achieve it in other avenues (besides motherhood) - I started building things, scrapbooking, I became a CASA volunteer and started a Pampered Chef business - but none of these has filled the void that I feel. Not that they haven't been fulfilling...just not in the way that I desire. I supposed I haven't truly listened to nor sought the guidance of the Holy Spirit in helping to fill this void. Once again, I've tried to figure everything out on my own...done my own thing and come up empty, yet again. Well, the Holy Spirit has been prompting me to step out of my comfort zone...and I've ignored it for some time but am finally stepping out. Pray that I wait upon the Lord for guidance as to what this new path will look like (I truly have no idea what it will look like but He's calling me to something).

Reed is growing up so fast! He's become quite the little commentator, giving us play by play of nearly everything we do in a day. I'll say, let's go to the gym and he'll say, Mommy and Reed to gym. He's such a tremendous blessing and I'm so honored to be his mommy. We're working on listening, patience, kindness, and also colors, numbers and letters. A lot of the time I feel like I'm not doing enough to encourage his intellectual and emotional development but then am reminded that I need to trust the Lord to guide me in being the best mommy that I can be. We have our battles and I am often reminded that I need to pray that I embrace the opportunities the Lord gives me to develop patience.

I truly have a blessed life and am incredibly thankful for all of God's gifts...even the "gifts" that He uses to grow me in what are often painful and uncomfortable ways.