Winter

I love the winter. Okay, I may not use love to describe this winter but, truly, winter is second only to fall. I simply cannot wait until Reed is old enough to enjoy playing outside in the snow! Neil and I tried to bundle him up for one of the first snows and to say he didn't enjoy it could possibly be the understatement of the year. He threw a major fit but it was worth it to capture this adorable picture!

Next year we'll be outside playing in the snow. I hope he ends up enjoying the winter like his mommy. I'm so excited to build our first snowman!

We're finishing our basement and doing all of the work ourselves. We started the beginning of December and are getting ready to drywall. Neil's gotten all of the framing and insulation finished...electrical is wired. Tomorrow he'll be installing the ceiling lighting. Tonight we went and ordered the fireplace and mantel...it's gorgeous! I'm super excited about the playroom that will house all of the Reed's toys (they'll be out of our main living area)! Neil will finally have a "real" office...the Lord knows he deserves it (and, yes, we're soundproofing that room). And I even get a small area to call my own! I can't wait!!! I haven't been able to help him as much as I'd like to because of my mom's health. But he's made great progress working on weekends/weeknights when he's not traveling. He's such a hard worker.

I'm almost finished with our master bedroom and bathroom "redesign". I just have a tiny bit of painting left and them I'll post pictures. I'm very pleased with the results. Painting the furniture took more time than I'd anticipated but it looks great. Next on my project list is the guest bathroom followed by the laundry room. We've got to build up the balance of the home account before I tackle those.

I'm also seriously considering becoming a Pampered Chef representative. I've got to make calls to potential babysitters in the neighborhood this week and have another chat with Neil before I make a final decision. I think I'd really enjoy it. After all, I do love to cook! We'll see. Just praying that I'm going in the direction God wants me to. Been overcome with the feeling that I should be doing something more...hard to explain. Anyway...I'll definitely be making a decision within the next two weeks.

As much as I love winter and snow, I'm still praying we don't get the blizzard that's forecasted for tonight/tomorrow/Wednesday. So thankful Neil's not traveling this week.

Oh, and today Reed and I went to our first Kindermusik class. We both had a wonderful time! Look forward to class next week. He'll be singing before we know it!!

Running Around

My baby is growing up! Reed's been walking for about a week and he's so stinking cute!  He's such a little blessing and a BIG ham! He fake coughs and clears his throat about 20 times per day (at least), and then looks at me to see if I'll laugh (which I always do...and, yes, I know I shouldn't encourage him but it's just so funny!). He can make it from the kitchen to the stairs in seconds...I seriously don't know how he does it! He's got quick legs (I'm sure Neil would insert a sports reference here...that he'll be a big time receiver or something). He's obsessed with the refrigerator - if it's open for more than 5 seconds he'll be standing inside on the little ledge. He plays peek-a-boo a lot and LOVES chasing me around the kitchen. Hands down, the best sound I've ever heard in my entire life is his laughter...it's the deepest joy I've ever experienced.

It's official, Reed and I are registered for Kindermusik's spring semester. I've heard a lot of good things about it and am excited to give it a try! He loves music and I love giving him numerous opportunities to interact with other adults and kids around his age. I love the fact that he spends time with a very diverse group of kids at the gym's childcare and the nursery at Eastview. I'm so thankful the gym has childcare...for more reasons than just that I can get a workout in. It's really good for Reed to have the exposure. And the workers there are absolutely amazing! I have no idea how they remember the names of all the kids they care for, but they do. They are an incredible group of women!

A couple days ago we went with Gammy (my mom) to Eastland mall and Reed was a crazy walking machine. I love the smile he brings to the faces of everyone he meets.After the mall, we dropped Gammy off and headed home. Reed fell asleep on the way home (in his new Britax Marathon 70 "big boy" car seat), stayed asleep while I got him out of his car seat, and didn't even wake up when I laid him down on the chaise lounger. This picture just says it all! He was wiped out! This walking thing is a lot of work! LOL!

Fear & Friendship

It's that time of year again. Time to take stock of life...something I do more than once a year, but always do in January. I have so many things to be thankful for - I'm loved by an incredible God and am free to worship Him, have an wonderful husband, an amazing son, a loving family, my health and the health of my loved ones, financial stability - just to name a few. I know that I'm blessed and have no right to complain which makes it difficult to actually put into words what's been bothering me the last several months. It's not so much a complaint as it is confusion about an unfulfilled desire of my heart. I deeply desire relationship in the form of a true friend (separate from my amazing husband).

When I was a little girl I remember making friends easily. But when I was in fifth grade an event took place that obliterated my trust in others. I withdrew and became suspicious of anyone that gave me attention...and basically from that point forward fear prevented me from letting anyone know me. It's amazing how things that happen in your childhood can alter your entire life experience. Children are so impressionable...so vulnerable. Basically, I have not had a true best friend since I was a little girl - a friend that truly loved me (blemishes and all). 

I realize that this is my own fault. I let fear control me and built walls...tall, thick, reinforced walls. And I carry a lot of guilt associated with my self-imposed isolated life. But I am at a point in my life when I desire to know people and for them to know me. I desire relationships where honesty/accountability is expected and appreciated. I desire relationships that challenge me to become a better person. The main stumbling block in fulfilling these desires is the fact that I literally have no idea how to make true friends. My does that sound silly. I know how to make acquaintances...but friends are different. I desire someone that I can call (outside of my family) when I'm struggling. A friend that won't judge me. A friend that will always answer the phone when I call. A friend that will want to hear what I have to say. A friend that will give me the benefit of a doubt but call me out when I need to be called out. Basically, a friend that will love me for me...the good and the bad. 

Over the past several months I've been trying to get to know people. I've put myself out there and taken risks that I would have never taken in the past. I joined a mom's group through church, I'm talking to familiar faces at the gym, I actually approach familiar faces to say hello when I'm out and about (something that always terrifies me...intellectually I know this fear is ridiculous), I've invited people to do things. So I have made progress in the past months but have also been hurt, which has been incredibly difficult for me because of my past. I've found myself stuck...lost when it comes to determining when a relationship goes from acquaintance to friend. I guess I feel like it should just happen on it's own...but it hasn't. I honestly just don't know how the process works. I'm so embarrassed to even write this...

I know that God knows the desires of my heart. I know that He wants to fulfill those desires and that I need to follow Him in order for that to happen. So I guess my prayer is that I'd trust Him wherever he leads me, that I'd be more courageous...that I'd take more risks...be more vulnerable...put myself out there...and rest in the fact that He will protect me so I should not be afraid.